WELL I MUST BE BETTER...

07-25-2012

The rash on my arms and hands are gone.

Wonder if they were due to stress.  I thought it was the dishwashing liquid, but still using the same.

Had a great manipulation at the chiropractor today.

Back feeling much better.

The 2012 Bean Family Reunion was GREAT!

The family came in and helped without anyone asking - THANK U JESUS!!!!!

GOD SHOULD UP AND SHOWED OUT.

 

07-26-2012

Receive my letter from Vanderbilt rejecting my request to be on the list for a kidney transplant.

Must wait 5 years from date of my colon cancer surgery.

Therefore will consider my request after December 2014.

SAD - SAD - SAD - BUT MOVING RIGHT ALONG!

Had to get an Epo shot today.  Count was 9.5.  It was 9.7 the last time.

Received 4,000 units instead of the 2,000 I received the last time. :-*

 

 07-30-2012

 

I AM 56 YEARS OLD - TODAY!!!

 

 

THIS WEEKEND WAS A SLUGGISH ONE!

I went to church with my son and his family on Saturday.  My mom also attended.  It was indeed a blessed time.  All went out to eat, but I was so tired and weak I did not believe I would make it to the truck.  BUT GOD, saw fit to help me.  I was in bed for the rest of the day and on Sunday.  Just could not move. My chest was killing me.  Will I broke down and ordered some Prilosec from CVS paharmacy.  Maybe it IS GERD.  Will check.  Wasn't the last time.  Now I have a pain in my back just below my left sholder blade.  U know I am tired when I pass up opportunities to tutor.  Will tutor today at noon at the Post Library.  Give me strength Lord.  Getting excited and happy about family reunion.

 

 

 

FEELING MUCH BETTER TODAY 07-06-2012

Did not experience a stomach ache today.  Still itred as heck but moving right along, albeit slowly.  Watch the Wimbledom men's tennis match today.  Great to focus on something else.  Did take a look at my homework.  Did a little update to my package.  LOTS to do before the reunion, still no word on the mortgage.  The underswriters do not believe in GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE.  But thank you God for the hope of buying a new home.  Lots of land to relax on.  Just what I need. 

TODAY IS A BAD DAY - must write to get relief. JULY 2, 2012

I AM SO WEAK AND LIGHT-HEADED!  I am very tired and had stomach problems this morning. This seems to be a daily routine.  Maybe it is time for me to start dialysis.  But I am questioning why I am anemic.  The last  time it was colon cancer.  Don't want to start dialysis and find that the true cause of my anemia is not my kidneys.  This is a big decision and I am not going to make it casually.  But I know I also must recognize that if it is my kidneys I will become too sick and will have dialysis imposed on me instead of me "choosing" to dialyze. 

Have some anxiety about a few things: 

(A) buying a new home and today is the closing day and my mortgage company has not finished putting all the financial papers into place, disappointed but know God will make it happen,

(B) planning a family reunion on the property.  Need time to clear and clean the land. 

(C) mom lives with us now, really trying to get her to be more independent and get out of the house so she wont be depressed while we're at work.

(D) can't "think" to complete a simple assignment in the PHD program - God give me relief,

(E) must complete writing up awards on the job,

(F) son and family moving in our house until theirs is complete.  Not sure if mom welcomes them.  That bothers me and maybe I should question her to ensure that I am not interpreting her actions and attitude.  Also would like them to move with us to the new home and mom definitely is against their moving in with us. but I know Rodney (my nephew) wants to be in the house alone, not share with my son and his family.  this bothers me that my mom and nephew are being unreasonable about a house I struggled to pay off, and the one I am trying to get. and

(G) what am I going to do with the school (JMIA)? 

Just a few of the things on my mind.  Cannot sleep.  have been struggling in the length and quality of the sleep I have had for the past couple of years.  I do know the family drama is getting to me, but I pray daily to the Lord to remove any negative thoughts.  I love my husband, son, daughter in law and grand-kids and would do anything for them but will not let others hurt them.  I have been very generous to my extended family and only ask for appreciation and respect for my decisions. 
My toe nails are filled with fungus.  Must brain storm solutions and choose the best.  Need to lose a minimum of 40 pounds.  So, I guess I just need to develop a list and do ONE THING AT A TIME until I get my health back to a point of me functioning well.